One-sided, bad love.

How are you guys? Today I feel like writing about this whole week of experience. It was specifically about the person I liked. Unluckily, it is one-sided bad love.

Isn’t love is interesting and the ideal type one, especially for ladies, is the fairy tale-like romance love stories. This kind of love stories are kinda rare nowadays, though they still happen, and many dream of having it. But how can you tell if it is the real thing, being in love? Often times, people confused about their feelings of like and love. While for me, if you like someone, you love him/her. I’m not saying that they are the same thing but liking someone means you love something about them. Maybe you love his/her hair, smile, looks, personality/attitude and etc.; these are still part of that person. You can’t love a person without liking a thing or two about him/her.

This love starts with that thing called ‘I like him/her’; it only grows over time when you started to know more and more and more about that person. Then suddenly you’ll realize that you’ve already fallen deep for that person. This is where the hardest part will challenge you. If you are brave enough, you can get yourself together and confess how you feel but if not, like in my case, it’s really troublesome. Other feelings will arise like being confused and scared that if continuously happens will only lead you to keeping those feelings alone inside you. It really is scary especially if you are close friends with that person and you are afraid of losing that relationship, you are afraid of losing the person you have feelings with.

The love that I have for the person I like is not even possible plus I’m really not brave enough to even admit it even to myself at first. The love I have for her is ‘One-sided bad love’. The one-sided part is clear of course, just like I’ve said, it’s hard to admit for persons who are weak emotionally. It’s is bad because it can’t really happen, in any way you think, it can’t really just happen. In simpler thought, my love for that person is definitely impossible. Maybe you think that I’m way too pessimist, but it was the truth though. I’ve made up my mind, since I can’t be with that person the way I want to be, I will just treasure every precious moment I spend with her even just how she sees me as a person, as her friend. It looked like I gave up right? But I really haven’t yet. I will continue to love her even I know it will hurt me bad in the end because loving someone is not just being happy, not always. It also is being sad in the end for the person you love to have happiness. It’s called sacrifice. I don’t really want to get hurt; no one wants to but if you really love that person, you will choose that thing, sacrificing your own happiness, just to see him/her happy.

I promised myself that I will keep this ‘friends-only-love’ that she feels for me. Heart break is no big deal to me, what is important is keeping the trust and friendship that I share with this person. I want to continue, laughing with her while walking home together, to talk things with her serious and nonsense ones, to eat with her, to glance at her freely, to held her hand, to comfort her and to be by her side as a friend that she trusts so much. These things are the reason why I love her. I’m happy just being with her and that is more than enough for me because what I really desire is her happiness, with me by her side or not. I just want to see that pretty face of her with a bright smile on it. I know that that is what my heart really wants to seek out.

I may get hurt in the end of this story but I know that every wound will tend to heal and every broken heart will mend itself. People will continue to move on as the time passes. What is important is what you have now, live with it gladly, enjoy it and never fear of losing it because we all know nothing is constant in this world, only change. Even if we lose something, be sad for a while, accept the fact and then move on because there is a reason for everything. We must continue to live, laugh and love.

“Do cry because it’s over, SMILE because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

“You only live once, but if you do it RIGHT, once is enough.” – Mae West